Peace and Patience

introduction 

Many of us including myself have found that at one time or another, in a particular period, we 

come to a standstill. Whether that be a hold on a job opportunity, the newest gadget, a relationship, or even that long-needed vacation where unwinding is possible. What I have noticed about these so-called ''chapters'' is that feeling overwhelmed and stuck is normal. It is also normal to feel free knowing the next chapter is right around the corner. 

What do we do in these moments? How can we best practice patience? Is it possible to experience freedom without shame or guilt in the long pauses that life brings...

I would like to share some insight that might give not just clarity but comfort as you wait for whatever it may be in your life. 

Over the past year, I have learned to recognize the importance of patience in many aspects of my life. 

Identifying the wait 

I never would have expected that I would have my standstill so early on in my life. Others around me have done great things, are great people, and have already accomplished what some take years to achieve. I wrestled with a few thoughts as I thought life was just passing me by. It felt like every decision I made led to a mistake. The snowball effect was in play with my decision-making and it felt impossible to overcome. 

''How do others seem to have it so easy? I wondered."Why does it seem like I am the only one missing out? Will I ever be able to take the steps and risks others have taken and succeed?  

These were hard thoughts and they were hard for many reasons. One reason was; that I was not living in freedom, therefore, feeling like a failure. I wasn't confident in who God had ordained me to be and as a result, I was left with an unsatisfied heart. 

At the time I had these thoughts, I had many unhealthy habits that were causing me to become unstable with my emotions. Anxiety rushed over me daily and I didn't even fight it. 

I think we do this from time to time because it makes us feel better about ourselves momentarily, though we know it won't last. 

That self-destructive behavior is only broken when you get tired of living in the damaging cycle. I had to figure out what I was struggling with, before understanding how to better manage my life. 

I had realized this through a conversion with my pastor's wife, that what I was battling was a timeline problem.

Timelines are not deadlines 

I sat down with my Pastor and his wife and they graciously agreed to counsel me through one of my hardest moments in life. They gave clarity to my situation and helped me to understand what I couldn't process. 

I had a timeline problem!? What did that mean!? 

{I only needed a few seconds before I knew what they meant, pun intended of course}. I had a vision laid over my life, an expectation of which things would or wouldn't happen. As I sat there in the old church building with two of the most kind people, I finally faced my sin. 

I never invited God to be in my plans but I would expect Him to bless my decisions. I would rush timing because I thought I would miss out on something great. O openly allowed the world to define who I was, rather than the very one who created me. I wasn't patient and I didn't want to wait on God. 

The most beautiful journey I ever took was inviting God to define who I become as a woman. He placed a new desire in my mind that day, as I asked Him to teach me patience. 

One thing about God I've noticed is that He always delivers!

He started to give me patience to see what I needed to wait on. Oh, was it a lot. But I started to rebuild myself and this time with Christ in the center. I quickly became at peace with God being at the core of my choices. 

In HIS timing 

I have learned that waiting on what God has for me is unmatched compared to my own plans. 

I understand why patience with God becomes less of a me issue and more of a refinement process with the Lord. It's almost more than refreshing to allow God to take the lead in life's journey and allow Him to show Himself through His faithfulness. 

As I continue to allow God to have His own way in me, I understand patience more and more and the freedom it brings. 

My "standstill" was my own choice and my decision to live on my own terms. When I asked God to, make my path straight, there was no question about where He wanted me. He has given me such peace as I walk and abide in Him. 

Prayer for patience 

Lord, strengthen my trust in you. Give me opportunities to know your heart and what you want for me, in the life you have given to me. Allow me to see your goodness through hardships, and allow me to live patiently according to your word. Forgive my selfishness so that I may live freely in your desires. May you give me peace as I abide in your truth.

-Amen